joe six-pack.

palinaspresident.us

don't lie...

i know...all my posts lately are lame youtube links, but lately i've been catching up on some reading, working a busy stretch, getting ready for the blazers' season opener, figuring out my dead amy winehouse halloween costume, and blowing money on comics on ebay. oh and gearing up for the new call of duty out in a couple weeks. i know, i live a charmed life.
anyway...don't lie. you secretly think this was a great show...unlike family guy, it's awesomeness declined as the years went on, but...it's better than most crap.

more family guy.

i'm pretty sure seth macfarlane sold his soul to the devil a loooong time ago. this shit is funny. if the "flash gordon" reference in this week's episode doesn't make you pee your pants, well, then there's no hope for you. it at around the 16:00 mark. enjoy.

i dare you america...

recently re-discovered down in the cafeteria, i dare you to come up with a more amazing candy than now and later. it reminds me of my childhood days. saturday mornings at the bowling alley. working on my 150 average. then stealing quarters from my mom's purse so i could buy some sweet, sweet now and laters. maybe some zotz and a blow-pop, sour apple, of course. with enough left over hopefully to get in a couple games of dig-dug or gauntlet..."the wizard needs food badly!".
yeah, people...i was in a bowling league. i went to state. i got fifth. i am better than you.

a better version of this video.

i posted this video earlier. here it is updated. much better.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

guns.

pardon my fuckin' language, but i fuckin' hate politics. he said, she said fuckin' bullshit. go ahead and vote. but do it based on something important...like who you would rather have a beer with or maybe who you'd rather sit next to during a blazers' game. it can't be based on knowledge and facts...nobody has time to sort through all of this bullshit.



got it? ok...now click here.

seriously, joe the nurse shouldn't have to spend six hours on the computer, not on ebay, trying to figure out who to vote for...sorting through the mud and pus that is washington d.c.

we're goin' to hell everyone. see you there.

*not that this was the issue deciding my vote...i was just curious.

still alive.

close your eyes. now picture this corpse naked. now clean up your vomit. clicky.
happy halloween, zombies.

max payne-ful.

say hi to your mother for me...clicky.

MCOTW.

assume the worst in people...

that way maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised. buckle your seatbelts, america.

fight club.

here's some more video of deer i didn't kill last week. these were in someone's front yard. deer are smart.

attack of the show.

i fish. i watch olivia munn dance with fish. i like.

save the cheerleader. save the world.

See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die

bat-shit crazy...

i mean cat-shit crazy...

mark wahlberg.

he's no matt damon, but i think of them as brothers. pretty funny skit when i saw it the other night, but now after this diss...i have to post it.
oh, mark, max payne better not suck.
and say hi to your mother for me...

MCOTW...

will "body of lies" be this good? no. maybe.

oh, hollywood...

you're so organized.

question...

who would win a fight between chuck norris and jason bourne?
yeah, jack bauer...that's who.

redemption, sort of...

well, i know the six of you that read this shit are eagerly awaiting my report from this weekend...so here you go.
it was tough.
the good news first. i stopped early on thursday morning to fish the deschutes. two fish, including one bruiser for a few dinners this month. my biggest steelhead so far. true to form this hatchery pig went straight down for about five minutes, flopped a couple times, and was to hand. the second fish, a much smaller native, put on a show with backflips, cartwheels, and a couple long runs. it was quite a morning. not to mention i didn't hike as far, and i didn't go for a swim this time.





on to the paulina unit to set up camp and do a little more scouting. the bucks were few and small, in fact, i only saw spikes. so, i waited...





opening morning i was up at 4:30, mostly because i drank too much beer and had to pee. it was cold. it rained all morning. i found my spot by hiking up a closed road about a mile in the dark. as the sun peeked through the trees, a single shot rang out. five seconds later, all hell broke loose. in the next two minutes probably 30 more shots echoed all around me. i was next to a large stump so i could have a 360 view. within minutes it was chaos. between 7 and 7:30 probably 30 does sprinted past. when they would slow down, i could see none of them were bucks.






i stayed put for a few hours then hiked around a few more miles back to camp. i busted a few more does, the sun came out, and i saw very few hunters off the main roads. i lost my patience and drove into town to watch the ducks play like a bunch of girls and the huskers play like a bunch of pregnant women.



the next couple days proved even more difficult. by sunday morning the many, many road hunters had all the deer (does) herded up. as i sat on the edges of some timber, they would trot past me in groups of 15-20 back and forth across the main roads. i didn't notice it so much on saturday, but by sunday the huge number of roadies was evident. i would see rifles sticking out of rolled down windows. and six to eight dudes sitting in the beds of pick-ups.
i quickly figured out i'd be better off fishing the rest of this trip. so i busted camp.
i've pretty much wet a line in every inch of the deschutes. except this one spot. so, against better judgement, i went for it. it was steep. it was treacherous. it was unproductive. but i lived.





like the cubs...there's always next year.

my favorite season.

on the big hunt this weekend, along with my new deer cannon, i'm packing a slingshot for squirrels. and cougars. here's to backstraps for thanksgiving dinner. and, if there's time, gettin' a little revenge on the deschutes.