nice win, boys.

high water unicorns.

really early.
really, really early.
lots of rain. river was on the rise but somehow it happened. twice.
some things are better left a mystery like stonehenge, sasquatch, DB cooper, and brandon roy's knee cartilage.

greg oden is soft.

saw nic batum today. i told him to tell rich cho to tell brandon to tell greg to use some of his millions and buy some tony robbins self-esteem dvds and then stop being such a pussy and actually act like you want to be a basketball player.
i had enough of oden's mopey-dopey, chin-down bullshit last year.
this so-called "great work ethic" that the blazer brass talk about seems like a bunch of crap from what i can see and/or read about.
prove me wrong, greg.

my list of things greg should've done to prove to blazer fans he gives a shit about being a great player or even slightly begin to live up to the huge amount of potential you had four years ago:

1. find a mentor. a RECENTLY retired NBA big man. someone to teach you toughness and moves. charles oakley comes to mind. jesus, befriend one of these guys, reach out. you can't tell me that even if they are employed by another team, in the off-season patrick ewing or hakeem wouldn't give out some lessons. RIP maurice lucas, but we all know he wasn't 100% for the last few years. why joel doesn't slap greg into shape is beyond me?
2. find a mean-streak. get tougher. join a boxing gym for shitsake. anything would be better than laying on your under-sized couch at home. if you were cleared to lift and jog, you can punch a bag or spar a midget or something.
3. travel with the team. i've heard a bunch of different excuses on this one. but perception is reality on this one. last year no one saw greg. "flying is bad for his knees"...bullshit. the blazers can take a few seats out of Blazer One and install a massage table for him for all i care. no reason not to be on the road with the team rehabbing, watching tape, being coached, developing with teammates...learning the game.
4. relax. don't you get it that if it was better known that you really were kicking ass at rehabbing no one would have anything to say. except that even though you are injured, you are still busting your ass and earning that huge contract. being a head-case or being "depressed", as i've heard, is no excuse. you are a multi-million dollar athlete, your life is just fine.
5. want it. just want it, man. if i felt like you wanted it, everything would be ok. the drive. prove to me that you have it. i'm a sponge to every video and interview i can find and not once have i ever heard you talk like a winner, like winning is all that matters, like losing makes you throw up, like second place is last place, like winning is all that matters. not once.

anyway, yeah, i saw nic batum today. i like his game.

l*ker fans, no, los angelians, in general (friends excluded).

not a fan.

i'm not a fan of pit bulls or zach randolph. both eat children and both ruin basketball teams.
so, this video is a shit storm of pure evil. but damn funny.
CLICK HERE

it's like a big ship and the water's on fire...

tom waits was speaking of new york city. however, i think, to be more specific, he was describing the condition of my liver after a nice little weekend visit to this violent island.
went to visit chewy, the midget sausage king of new york.
check a blazer game at the garden.
but mostly slept off all the pain from the nights before on nigel's couch.
the evenings and early mornings were numb. the late mornings and afternoons were disgusting.
brocephus jimbo's still hasn't cleaned their tap lines, however the remodeled bathroom was lovely.
it was like i'd never left.
it was balls cold, but my scorching o-ring kept me warm.

the new and improved blazers.

on like donkey kong...

RIP CITY!

nate mcmillian.

dear nate,
nice job with the team this year. enjoy the playoffs. THIS will be where you earn your money. just for fun, could you play joel and greg at the same time with LA at the 3 wednesday against denver...that would be sweet. but overall, i take back anything harsh i may have mentioned about your style earlier in the year.
HOWEVER, tonight we were up 30 or something in the 3rd period. why were LA and brandon still in? just sayin'...clear the bench!

um, check bayless callin' for the oop at about half court?! pretty sure the sonics stayed in the locker room at half time?

GO BLAZERS!

ok.

good to see you smile, greg. now, rip kobe's face off when you dunk on him next week.

ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuudy!

rudy fernandez está tan caliente en este momento.

please?

the pro's:
1. he's awesome.
2. he's awesome.
3. we only need him for two years.
4. he's awesome.

the con's:
1. none.

the future of basketball...

i can't wait until rudy, bayless, and roy pull some volleyball shit like this:



1. why isn't everyone in the crowd going ape shit after this? it's like they've seen it 100 times. maybe they have?
2. check the score. after one quarter.
3. that poor kid that got teabagged is gonna be scarred for life.

yes.

just your average sports-filled weekend...

not really, though. holy shit.
the pedro says, "you going to the game on friday?"
"sure i am."
"well, you might want to go with me instead."
"ok."








the game was unbelievable, beating the hornets to stay undefeated at home.
some thoughts on those once in a lifetime seats.
it was really tough to follow the game. we had no idea what the score was watching everything else going. the assistants cursing the refs, martell webster coaching everybody, smelling rebecca haarlow as she walked back and forth, lots of beer, and screaming at that punk bitch james posey. it was awesome.
rudy in broken english saying, "go defense, go defense!" at every timeout. watching nate draw up plays on the board and knowing what's gonna happen. brandon roy is clutch. and just seeing how big and fast all those guys are.
thanks again, pedro. you are the man.
go blazers!
i drank just enough beer to be not too hungover to wake up early for the drive to corvallis for the civil war...more on that debacle later.

ladies and gentlemen...nicole richie.

he's faster than sharks...

some video of stevie 'dimes' p'nash reminding me why he's my favorite player in the association. being able to dunk is for pussies anyway. the other videos at the end are nice, too.


steve nash “the spokesman” – photo shoot from Bill Connely on Vimeo.

my sentiments exactly.

mostly stolen from the blazersedge.com

OK, let’s see…pant, pant. L*kers, Spurs, Suns…pant, pant…Jazz, and Rockets. Anything else to throw at us, NBA? Let me guess, LeBron James has been traded to the Celtics for one night only and they’re coming to Portland. No, no, no…wait. You’ve assembled a team of robotic Michael Jordans and are sending them up against the Blazers, right? You evil so-and-so’s! I oughtta…what? The Timberwolves? You mean space-age, futuristic Timberwolves with laser eyes and anti-matter torpedoes shooting out of their butts, right? No? Just the plain, old Timberwolves, huh? Wait. This is some kind of trick, isn’t it?
OK…assuming that it’s actually the real Timberwolves coming to town and not some kind of 7-foot tall undead vampire army with a preference for Spanish flesh, this will be the first game of the season that the Blazers could be reasonably expected to win going in.



so the serg is upset about PT. i get it, dude. you've been here 3 years. you're playing 8-10 minutes. it sucks. but keep your chin up, champ. keeping playing well and things will work out. i got a feeling that steve blake isn't going to be around much longer. but if you pull any more bullshit like demanding a trade through your agent and disrupt what this team might get going here...i will come down on you like this:



b-roy, listen to me. great shot last night. you are the go-to-guy for this team. your all-star status is safe. but...they're 4 other guys out there, man. LA can bring it...and did all night last game. and no one can guard rudy, artest tried and looked stupid. you don't have to do everything. but, like i said, great shot last night.

espana love...

training camp starts next week. here's to no more bad knees! here's to aldridge making the leap to all-star! here's to another rookie of the year! here's to oden knocking kobe to the floor at the staples on opening night! go blazers!

i'm stoked. this brody jenner, panty droppin' SOB better do THIS all the time: