Wednesday, August 22, 2007

and the hits just keep coming...

some beauty quotes are keeping me from killing myself regarding the 24/7 coverage of the most important story on the planet:
from the atlanta NAACP:
"As a society, we should aid in his rehabilitation and welcome a new Michael Vick
back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in football," said R.L. White, president of the NAACP's Atlanta chapter. "We further ask the NFL, Falcons, and the sponsors not to permanently ban Mr. Vick from his ability to bring hours of enjoyment to fans all over this country."
and this one from the always soft spoken stephon 'star'bury:

"We don't say anything about people shooting deers and shooting other animals, you know what I mean? From what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors and I think it's tough that we build Michael Vick up and then we break him down ... I think he fell into a bad situation."

has football season started yet? i think i'm gonna go kill myself by watching those really, really retarded cuba gooding and michael jordan hanes underwear commercials over and over and over. didn't he win an academy award? wow. really? daddy dad camp? he continues to make movies that only my mom pays money to see. was he in 'wild hogs"?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


no, i didn't get seasick on the ferries. yes, we stayed at a bed and breakfast. no, we didn't see any whales. yes, we went to monty's. no, the girls were hideous.
highlights: the sea breeze, luggage with wheels, cream ale, wonderful weather, and sitka surfboards.
lowlights: none to mention...except i couldn't squeeze in some fishing and my ass hurts from driving. and walking.

the gardens...

our crib...

day and night...

Sunday, August 19, 2007

new york, NY

a little drunken get away to start my vacation time off with a big ol' headache...
the highlights: not dying.

the lowlights: almost dying.
you know that sweet, sweet smell of dive bar tap lines that haven't been cleaned since nancy reagan had two boobs? well, i am sickly addicted to it. and so is mike negley. and so is most of the upper east side.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

my sea legs abandoned me.

camping on the coast for the birthday last week.
highlights: steamers, bloody marys, max, max sleeping at night, cool coastal weather, and cheesecake.
lowlights: 4 hours of vomiting after crossing the tillamook bar (i am a huge pussy), dirty camping feet, and not deserving my share of the boat's rockfish bounty.

as pletsch would say...we're camping minimalists. one cooler for every person.

"there was also blood in several rooms of the house."

ever wonder what happens to idiot surgeons that can't take the "my lips are sutured to some one's ass for the next 4 years since my attending is a giant dick, so i'm gonna be a giant asshole that way he can rail me whenever he wants and i can take out my shitty existence on night nurses that surf the internet all night instead of fix their patients" lifestyle? well, now you know.
"oh you're pissed because i'm calling you at 3am because your patient has a fever?"
"sorry, i forgot you were a freakin' banker."
"oh, you aren't?"
"you're a surgeon?"
"my an idiot because me didn't go to four years of evil medical school, doctor evil."
"no, no...i sad, sick. this patient is sick."
"sorry to bother you. good night."

Monday, August 6, 2007 this blog is a freakin' soapbox. damn.

according to espn and the stupid media, sadly, i am as racist as they come because i can't take this crap anymore. i'm done. to my best knowledge (to quote ben folds)...i haven't ever owned slaves. neither has my father or his father.
i am sick of the race card.
read the latest fuel from our friends at
some highlights:
mike vick is going thru an "electronic lynching"...
"we place dogs above human beings,"...
christ. i can't take it. racism exists. we're dealing with it. are things as bad as they were 50 years ago? 15? 5? NO. they are WAY better. lay off. as a race, a species...we'll get there. it takes generations to eliminate these issues. many generations. not some piece of crap expose on espn, which in my opinion, only fuels the fire, feeds the bigots, and frustrates those who are on the normal, i think, socially acceptable pace.
changes will only occur through proper parenting. grandparents had no problem using the n word. in public. it sucked. my father, while he didn't say it in public, still said it. would i ever think about saying it in front of my future children? hell no. and that is what progress is. as slow as that sounds. but sorry...that's reality. a sad reality if you have to see the lack of parenting skills i get to deal with on a nightly basis at work. a really, really sad reality.
do i hate mike vick because he's black? no. i hate him because he's a thug dog fighter.
do i hate barry bonds because he's black? no. i hate him because he's a jerk.
does hank aaron hate barry bonds because he's black? hmmm.
are there people out there who do hate them because they are black? yep. lots of them. can they be changed? no. but they'll all die eventually...and be replaced by my children. and my friends children.
sorry, alanta. sorry, you've had it rough. sorry, it ain't getting better fast enough. but it will.
but as long as espn (and all media) keeps doing this. the race card will continue to stall any progress.
let my electronic lynching begin...
oh, and i hate peta, too.

and good luck pac man in your pro wrastlin' career.

ladies...don't risk it.

apparently the jury's still out on this theory?

Sunday, August 5, 2007

congrats, you freakin' crapcake.

now...hit one more. stop at third. retire. move to mars. die from dick cancer.

Saturday, August 4, 2007 just got served. ZG style.

ladies and gents, the reason saying "bling" ain't cool no more. eat it, kanye.

portland children have no chance...