wow...retard of the day.

annoyed v.1

10. loveline...music please, not retards talking about "my friend accidentally sat on a banana".
9. bud selig...who cares if you're gonna be there when bonds breaks the record. why is this an issue? it happened on your watch anyway. you are a hypocrite.
8. amy winehouse...i liked you better when you were going as rupaul.
7. rickey henderson...jesus, go away. jose reyes doesn't need your tutelage.

6. the dirty homeless kids i stepped over at pioneer square last week...playing brand new PSPs.
5. the damn bluejays and ravens that sit outside my damn window at scream bloody murder at each other all freakin' day while i'm trying to sleep.
4. the fact that i can't hit the broad side of a barn with the pellet gun i bought last week to rid my neighborhood of these wastes of nature.
3. joe morgan and jon miller said "barry bonds" 1,489 times last night during the cardinals/braves game tonight before i turned it off in the 5th inning. no one cares about this record. no one under the age of 35. they're all hall of famers. eventually. because steriod hitters raked homeruns off of steroid pitchers. why is it that only younger generations get that?
2. "who's now?!" really? this is worse than the steve phillips segments of fake new conferences for each MLB team last offseason. wow. espn is truly, truly in the toilet. unwatchable.
1. this guy.

kill me now. if you get paid to fish, i hate you. i get paid to wipe kids' asses. listen to meth-addicted baby machines talk about how well their pet snakes and kids play together. and spend the night walking around with toothpicks in my eyelids giving myself IV boluses of mountian dew because, like i said, i can't shoot a freakin' pellet gun.

if you haven't read greg oden's blog entry regarding his recent tonsillectomy, enjoy. high comedy. also, this awesome interview with one of mike vick's dogs.

seattle...

i was the 12,345,694th person to take this picture...this month.


american league baseball is still "plastic" no matter the angle. i tried.


doing the usual out of town type activities...the highlights: booing gary sheffield, ball park hot dogs (safeco dogs cracked the top three this weekend behind old busch stadium and dodger dogs), discovering another reason to LOVE ichiro,

and raspberries,

the lowlights: traffic, crazy people (except the guy with the sign that said "ninjas killed my father, i need money for karate lessons"), and traffic (2 1/2 hour drive my ass).

p.s. to everyone too lame to meet us out at the PIB brewfest last night...

clark and michael dot com

i thought the sandy river was for tubin' and drinkin'...

...or not, thank god. saw a little pamphlet floating around work for this event in downtown portland...save the sandy? sure. also, mark your calendars november 10th for this new olympic sport, the fish toss!

more summer blockbuster cheese...

yeah, yeah, i saw transformers. of course i did. it was cheesy, but as i was walking out of the theater holding the little free mini comic book i gladly accepted when i paid my $8.50 to see this movie based on a cartoon i watched (and loved) when i was 10 years old...i said to myself, "self, what in the crap did you expect?" yeah, so...it was lame. the overall dialogue sucked. anything the robots said was borderline retarded. the little bad decepticon spy was very jar-jar binks. and, yes, pletsch, it makes absolutely no sense that robots need to blink. BUT shia labeouf can do no wrong after his brilliance in the "sofa king" skit on SNL this season.
and damn, megan fox is hot. is it just me or does hollywood continue to stretch the limits in casting men and women that we are supposed to believe are in high school?

the effects are killer. and i'm a total sucker for any movie with a secret government facility developed back in the days of hoover, which is then hidden quite brilliantly under the frackin' hoover dam.
go see transformers. probably hate it. and laugh out loud when optimus prime speaks. but make sure you go early for the previews because there is a new one for "superbad" and "untitled" from jj abrams, which looks pretty sweet.
transformers gets 2.5 outta 4 shameless GM product placements.

oh, derek...

so...i've always said, even though i hate the yankees, "i can't say a bad thing about that jeter guy. class act. clutch player. good guy." but come on DEREK! freakin' avon?! who buys avon? aren't those the old ladies in pink cadallics? avon? jesus, you must have a cousin that works for avon or something, right? avon is just creepy. creepy. way to nail your demographic, mr. november. get a new agent. jesus.

a central oregon weekend...

hey all, took care of another 15-20 reasons why i moved to oregon last weekend. weather was great. found some new secret spots? caught a bunch of fish on a single fly. blazers got oden. had the campground to ourselves. and didn't have to pick any ticks off the dogs. oh and the blazers got rid of randolph. good times.

the hatchery at fall river. i was the 15th schmuck in this spot this afternoon. didn't even see a fish.


one of my first oregon browns. this was the smallest one. what a great morning.


mabry getting worn out on the trail to benham falls.


lava butte fire look-out.


more browns. who needs montana?!


the reason lora wanted to go camping...s'mores.