assumptions rule.

dear lovely lady who put this on my car last week,
i am really sorry.
sorry that your doritos-eating fat ass couldn't squeeze into your car after work. i admit my parking experience was a little tight, but i guess that happens probably everyday in the hospital garage which has a waiting list of years to even get a spot. i'm glad i found that tiny little spot and could squeeze my jeep into it, even if it did ruin your fucking day. tell you what...if you see me again or my car, leave me your name, and i'll make sure to remind you very often of how fat you are, how your kids are probably embarrassed of your fat ass, and how you're probably dead soon because your heart is really tired of pumping pure crisco. look, shuffle-step, nurses don't have to be fat slugs, so if you're such a strong, independent, opinionated roast beef sandwich, break the stereo-type and quit stealing everybody's lunch out of the fridge.
sincerely,
michael
ps. yes, i feel better.