Friday, October 12, 2007

stupid book. stupid movie.


dear self,
i know you want to move to alaska. and you will someday. but, self, you need to know a couple things. you probably know most of this, but here's a reminder:
1. take more than a .22.
2. take more than one bag of rice.
3. warm clothes.
4. waders...and maybe a flyrod might be a good idea.
5. remember...snow melts. and rivers rise. have a plan. one that floats.
6. burn all your pearl jam records for warmth and kill eddie vedder.
that should do it. follow these simple rules and you won't turn into a zombie and die of starvation. and i get it...you don't need material things. live off the land. freedom. destiny. happiness. i get it.
find yourself. dead.
take care and good luck,
self

1 comment:

chris erdman said...

#7. Should your unworthy ass be so lucky as to down a moose with your pea shooter, know what the fuck to do with it instead of killing the fine animal and then starving to death as a thousand pounds of noble protein rots all for naught. due to your ignorance and stupidity.