negativity.

as my personal sports apocalypse continues to creep towards reality, each day something happens to provide further proof the end is upon me. it has become more automatic than a small, cute animal attacking an unlucky, misunderstood ben stiller character.

1. the huskers. yeah, tom osborne will save us. sure, i mean he's only 70. says "gosh darn" and "gee willickers" during half-time speeches. he's been outta the game for 10 years. but probably still has plenty of probation officer contacts in southern california.
i'm guessing he might be out of touch with what the kids think is cool...you know stuff like, come play here. sure we have exposure. we don't have alumni like chad johnson or reggie bush or a manning, but we do have lawrence phillips, jason peter, and eric crouch. we don't know where they are, but we have them.
come play here. sure we have girls.

anyway, no we don't have video games in the lockers like some schools...instead, have you seen this awesome playbook? it's better than madden '08:

sure we realize it's three times the size of any college text book. and yes we know you're major will be P.E., but trust us...coach callahan says this gets you ready for the pros.
and nevermind this stuff:

it's simple...RUN THE BALL. like the glory days:

good...

versus evil.


2. the cardinals. great, larussa is back. that doesn't make the farm system any better. matt says colby rasmus is grady sizemore. ok. let's hope. you know...i'm just gonna settle into a fetal position on this one. it's grave. it's a downswing for sure. last place in the central next year. there i said it. dingo, tim, savvyboy, roth...sorry. it was a nice little run. baseball is an ugly bitch. i'll remember just getting the chance. i'll remember pujols ending brad lidge's career. i'll remember edmonds turning his back on the ball like a nebraska DB. i'll remember beltran's knees buckling. oh yeah and we're still world champs for another week or so.


3. the rams. well, i wanna say something positive. so i will...the barbeque pork nachos at qwest field are excellent. now...the rams straight suck. bulger holds the ball like it's a teddy bear protecting him from the boogeyman. holt is probably leading the league in drops. and the backs, not named jackson, love running directly into the linemen's backsides. sure it's because the offensive line is getting crushed...on EVERY play, but make a read. spin. juke. i think it's R1 or R2 on your playstation controller. the lambs had -4 yards passing and 4 first downs in the first half on sunday. against the seahawks...who suck, too. the offensive MVP so far this season is the punter, donnie jones. 50.5 average. sunday he booted one 80 yards. not bad with one foot out of the back of the endzone. 0-16. why not? new england is gonna go 16-0.
did anyone see matt and i at the game? we were these guys:


4. the blazers. will we make the playoffs? do we even want to? is it completely wrong, before the season even starts to start thinking about this:

from espn.com courtesy of doug "scooter" gottlieb
2008 NBA Draft Prospects
1. Eric Gordon, Indiana
Gordon would have been the first guard taken this year. He has deep range, a midrange game that is developing and he will finish in traffic as well. Unlike some of his fellow guards in this class, Gordon has no issues with sharing the ball on the floor or baggage off the floor. He is a huge reason for believing that IU is back. But for how long?
2. Kevin Love, UCLA
The most complete big man to enter college basketball in a long time. Love is strong as an ox, a solid athlete, has a tremendous basketball IQ, a ridiculous outlet passer (coaches are raving) and his offensive arsenal is as complete as Tim Duncan's.
3. Derrick Rose, Memphis
Rose has a body and game that is reminiscent of Jason Kidd. He is a fierce competitor who is driven to win and make his teammates better. Although he may not be quite the passer that Kidd is, he shoots it better than Kidd at this age. As good as Memphis was last year, wait until you seen the Tigers with Rose running the show.
4. Darrell Arthur, Kansas
"Slim Shady" is a sleek, face-up forward who should come into his own in Year 2 at Kansas. Arthur has the tools necessary to be great, but he must put it all together. He lacks consistency.
5. Michael Beasley, Kansas State
An incredibly talented power forward who has some Carmelo to his game, only he is a far more tenacious rebounder. He does have some baggage in terms of personal maturity, so a year in Manhattan, Kan., could do him wonders.
Others of note
O.J. Mayo, USC
Ultra-athletic combo guard who enters college with all the hype of LBJ (had LeBron gone to college). He can defend, shoot and finish, but he struggles with knowing what to do when. If Tim Floyd can add discipline and decision-making to his arsenal, Mayo will live up to the massive hype that he sometimes struggles with.
Kyle Singler, Duke
A Dirk Nowitzki type of forward. Has the most developed offensive arsenal of the incoming freshmen perimeter players.
D.J. Augustin, Texas
The best pure point guard returning to college basketball next year. Augustin still needs to develop a more consistent jumper from 3-point range and break out of the massive shadow of Kevin Durant. Big 12 coaches rave about his ability to run the Horn's offense.
Brook Lopez, Stanford
Very skilled at both ends of the floor and more athletic than his East Coast counterparts.
Roy Hibbert, Georgetown
Huge, improving and very bright, Hibbert has come from nowhere to all the way to playing Greg Oden to a draw in Atlanta. Can he stay injury free while keeping the weight off?
Chase Budinger, Arizona
Great talent and he knows how to play, but he needs to work on his poor defense. His lack of lateral quickness does not go unnoticed by NBA scouts. He could very well be a pro beach volleyball star if the NBA does not work out.
Hasheem Thabeet, Connecticut
Still incredibly raw, but you can't teach height and shot blocking. He has both.
DeAndre Jordan, Texas A&M
Should form an incredible 1-2 combo with Joseph Jones at Texas A&M. Jordan is a very athletic big man who is active and aggressive at both ends of the floor.
Donte Greene, Syracuse
Thin pogo-stick type of athlete who will thrive if Syracuse starts to get up and down, which the Orange seem poised to try.
Paul Harris, Syracuse
Do-it-all Paul has all the skills, except a jump shot. Strongest guard in college basketball, but he has no position. If he continues to improve his shooting next year as he did in Year 1, he could get in the lottery discussion, a discussion he was in coming out of prep school.
Tywon Lawson, North Carolina
Exceptionally fast with the ball and a strong finisher in the lane, but his jumper and decision-making leave something to be desired. Lawson can really defend and will have a ton of opportunities to prove his mettle as UNC is a favorite heading into the year.
Darren Collison, UCLA
Loved by his coaches and teammates, Collison may lack the creativity to be a big-time point guard in the pros. However, he has improved a ton the past two years, so anything seems possible.
Taj Gibson, USC
Will be a 22-year-old sophomore, and he plays like a 10-year NBA veteran. Legit 6-foot-9 athlete who is adding strength, the only thing needed to his game.
Returning from Injury
Billy Walker, Kansas State
Would have been a lottery pick this year, but after his second ACL tear, Walker's return will be cause for great interest. A Vince Carter-type of athlete last year, his raw offensive game is supposed to be more refined with the time off.
Ronald Steele, Alabama
Dual knee surgeries after a painful year leave us wondering what will become of the college game's premiere point guard. When healthy, Steele is a scoring point who has a knack for taking over a game in big spots. He was hobbled all of last season and used his guts and head to still be moderately effective. But he will need his knees to get into the league.
DeVon Hardin, Cal
Big-time athlete and shot blocker who has a Stromile Swift-like ability to finish. Had a foot injury this year and is raw offensively, so he wisely pulled out of the draft last month. But with some refining, he should be in the lottery discussion next year.
Back from Suspension
C.J. Giles, Oregon State
After getting kicked off the team at Kansas, he transferred to OSU. Giles has some baggage he needs to overcome. At 6-foot-10 and very agile, his raw talent had him pegged for the lottery until his dismissal.
Josh Heytvelt, Gonzaga
Ultra-athletic big man who needs the year to repair his off-court image. On the floor, he needs to play with more consistency. But when he brings it, he is a lottery pick.

and, peter, "oden's wheelchair", your fantasy basketball team's name...not funny.